You will be missed Dolly
I grew up in Tennessee where Dolly was a household name. I used to love to hear her laugh and listen to all of her songs, especially her “Coat of Many Colors” song. I remember listening to her and Kenny Rogers sing so much on my record that I knew exactly where all the scratches were in my record where the music would skip as I sang along. As I heard the news of her passing today, I watched generations impacted by her loss. My girls were in shock with the news-Dolly always seemed timeless, ageless-eternal. But none of us are and I love the video her nephew shared reminding us all that Dolly was a woman of faith and no longer in pain- we will see her again.
I think Dolly’s song about the coat of many colors was probably my first exposure to the story of Joseph. That’s right, you read it correctly. I learned about the story of Joseph from Dolly’s song. I remember hearing her share of the love that her mom put into every single stitch as she made her this beautiful coat. You knew that when she put it on she was wrapped in love and no matter how cruel the kids were at school she felt rich beyond measure because she was surrounded in love.
Another trip around the sun
Another year, another birthday. Yesterday was a good day. Although my back is still limiting movement, I woke up to breakfast in bed, snuggles with the girls, slow walking and window shopping for furniture for our new home, and a surprise gathering of dear friends for dinner. Not a bad day at all. I have these little things I do every year on my birthday. I refuse to look at any text messages or answer any calls until Rob and the girls say happy birthday, I want to share it with them first. I spend the day thinking of how blessed I am to live and breathe another day, reflecting on the year, and spending time with my family. There have been years when I have been far from home either serving in combat or on military duty, but we always find a way to celebrate in any way we can-even if not on the exact day. It’s just what we do for each other and I am thankful for it. When God called to Jeremiah, telling him that “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV). God would say the same for all of us, He knew us all before we were born, He formed us in the womb. What a wonderful gift to have the breathe of life given to us by our Father. So, every birthday, it’s not only a celebration of a year, but thankfulness for all the God has placed before me. Thankfulness for Him creating me just the way I am and continuing to be present in my life.
I have teenagers…enough said
I think I can say I have teenagers and everyone who has them or has had them will simply shake their head in understanding. No need to explain, just a shared understanding. This week was the first week of school in a new school and driving for the first time. It was the perfect storm of breaking routines and my girls like their routines. Overnight they went from sleeping in their own beds to being guest in a home, from sleeping until midday or early afternoon to rising before the sun, from mindless days to intense learning days, and if that were not enough, they get to wake up the next day and do it all over again. I get it, it’s a lot. Multiple times this week I had to be the “mediator” as Helena likes to call me. I had to remind them that how we look at things, how we approach things is our choice. We can seek to bring everyone into misery and make them suffer as we see ourselves suffering or we can recognize we are all going through this and lift up each other. We can lead with criticism and frustration or we can lead with love (LWL). “ A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35, NIV). God is very clear in His command for us-”love one another”.
Walking with God
17 days. That is how many days I have before I will take my first steps on El Camino de Santiago. As I have shared, I have been struggling with my back injury for nearly three weeks and doing all I can to heal before I take my first steps on this pilgrimage. Today, I had the chance to meet with the leader of our group who is a dear friend and a prior Pastor. We talked about walking and drawing closer to God. There is something about not having to worry about anything but waking up, putting one foot in front of the other to get to your next destination and finding food and water along the way. Imagine being able to do that for a day, let alone days. No worry about what someone needs from you, no need to check emails, answer phone calls…just one foot in front of the other. I shared that when I walk, I can turn down the noise. With each step, I start to focus on my breathing. I not only hear the air come in and out of my lungs, I feel its warmth as it escapes my body. The small beads of sweat that begin to form and slowly pulled by gravity become just one of many things reminding me that each step is a step of endurance, perseverance-pushing myself. I begin to notice every bird, every sound. I see how the leaves in the trees turn in the wind creating a symphony of sound. I am reminded of many of God’s words and Psalms seems most fitting, “I lift my eyes to the mountains-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalms 121:1-2, NIV)
Trust in the Lord and be Blessed
Today was one of those days where all the pieces seemed to fall into place. I mean all the pieces. My back felt the best it has in weeks; we finally found a new hire at work that we have been seeking for months; the final documents needed for our new home all came in today; and the girls cleared all the items needed to get enrolled in their new school. Days like today are rare and deserve to be fully appreciated. Throughout this moving process I have spent countless hours in thoughtful prayer wondering if we are doing the right thing. Questioning if the timing is best for the girls, for the family. Today was full of affirmations as doors flew open that we are on the right path. I’ve shared that Proverbs is often my go to for quick words of wisdom and guidance. This verse seemed fitting, “Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord” (Proverbs 16:20, NIV).
Sometimes “Mama Bear” has to growl a little
There is nothing like the protective nature of a mama bear. If you don’t believe it, try to get between a mama bear and her cubs. I remember seeing a beautiful mama bear lumbering along in Philmont with the Boy Scouts and providing the same caution to the Boy Scout troop I was training. I cautioned them that a mama with her cubs will likely become aggressive if she feels her babies are being threatened. I told them too make as much noise as possible if it were to happen. Later that day, we were setting up camp and I was in my tent and I heard quite the raucous outside my tent. As I poked my head out, that mama bear was making it clear we were too close to her babies, just a little growl but she made her presence known. That was my day today-mama bear had to growl a little. I understood how Moses’ mom must have felt when she hid him for three months to keep him from the King of Egypt’s wrath. I also know the sacrifice a mom makes of self and personal needs when “she placed the child in it (a papyrus basket) and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile” (Exodus 2:3, NIV). You see, a mother will do anything to protect her child. It’s in our nature.
Nothing like a first birthday
This week we received news of the loss of a dear friend’s father and celebrated the one year birthday of our precious little granddaughter Lena. I kept thinking about Ecclesiastes 3, “There is a time for everything…a time to be born and a time to die…a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, NIV). Ecclesiastes highlights that the roller coaster of life happens to all of us. You can live the most perfect life and still undergo hardships. You can live a life of sin and still be loved. Life happens to everyone. There is birth and there is death, there is joy and there is sorrow. In living, you cannot control what you will encounter or when you will encounter it. It is for us to live in it and continue to trust in God and pursue Him in our everlasting peace. This week, I mourned with my dear friend while I reminded him of the gift of sharing a life well lived and being able to share in lasting memories that will never fade. This week, our family celebrated the precious miracle of a life beginning as we watched the pure joy cross little Lena’s face as all eyes were on her to celebrate her special day, hear her laughter, and watch her run from one gift to another overjoyed with the outpouring of love. Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything, and that not one thing will ever consume all of our time. A time of mourning will pass, a time to dance may be followed by sadness. What a great gift we have in living and in experiencing all that life has to offer.
Kindness is the theme this week
Rob and I traveled to see the great Luke Kuechly inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. We have been so excited about this trip and I was not going to let back pain keep me from going. I managed to make additional therapy appointments and stayed on top of all my exercises to get to the point where I could at least participate in all the events. Thankfully, the plane ride was short and each of the events have given me the opportunity to stretch and move around. When we arrived at our hotel with our group, it became evident that they were not ready for our large numbers and struggled to get us rooms. The next morning, we were supposed to have a free breakfast but that did not work out and the poor lady at the counter was not prepared for the large volume of people all coming at the same time since we had to catch the bus for our first event. Rob and I just smiled and were understanding. We thanked her for all she did and said we hoped her day would get better. This morning, we had a similar issue and the same woman was doing her best to keep up with all of us. Same as yesterday, we treated her with kindness even though frustrations were high all around. As I took my wallet out to pay, she used a coupon and gave us our breakfast for free. I shared earlier this week in the blog titled “A kind word or gesture goes a long way towards healing” that God calls us to be kind to others, not for what we can expect in return, but because God calls us to love all His children. This week I have been reminded that in times of stress, when things are difficult, and even when in pain, a gentle word goes a long way to calming any situation. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1, NIV) I can’t help but wonder, how would these two days been different if I let anger or frustration rule the day, versus being patient and kind. How would the lady at the counter greeted me the next morning if I had yelled at her for circumstances beyond her control? We have a choice in how we respond, God calls us to lead with love (lwl).
A kind word or gesture goes a long way towards healing
Last week I was reminded that although in pain, it was pain well earned in a life well lived. Since then, I have been touched deeply by the heartfelt well wishes and acts of kindness that people have shared to lift my spirits. I am sure I will miss some, and for those missed, please know that your words and gestures have been my lifeline in recent days. These acts of kindness have ranged from text received sending prayers or hope for quick healing, to co-workers all stepping in to take critical tasks from me so I can give myself time to heal and rest. Reminders from friends and co-workers alike that when we get these “nudges” to rest, we need to obey. I received beautiful photos to remind me of God’s omniscient presence and ability to bring forth miraculous healing-after all, he created the Heavens and the Earth. Finally, I heard an unexpected knock on my door this evening and on my porch stood someone with bags of groceries loaded with a few of mine and my family’s favorite things. A grocery delivery from a dear friend to bring us all a bit of joy. In all of these moments, the pain that was just recently all consuming took a step back and I was filled with joy and love from all the kindness shared. Paul tells us in Galatians that those who seek to please themselves and their flesh will find destruction and then he follows with the best words of encouragement to do as all of these friends, co-workers and family have done for me. “whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers” (Galatians 6:8-10, NIV) I know they didn’t reach out to me for a potential benefit they may receive, but because as believers, we are called to do good for others, for all people. What a Blessing it is to not only be called to share this gift but to also receive this gift when you need it most.
A good meal goes a long way
It has been a week! I shared yesterday that I have been in a lot of pain and trying to find a way to get relief. I have had pity party after pity party and been beyond frustrated. Today I finally got some relief thanks to calling in a help line with a trusted friend and physical therapist. I had a heartwarming laugh when my mom showed up at the docs after stalking me and being upset that I drove myself (by the way, she insisted she drive me home-always a mom!) The day got even better when I came home to an amazing meal being prepared. I was told to go rest and dinner would be ready at 6. Boy was dinner ready at 6. The challenge I have living in my home is that Rob is such an amazing cook that restaurants pale in comparison. Tonight was supposed to be date night at a steak house, but with my back, we knew it would not be a comfortable night. Instead, Rob brought surf and turf to me at home. It made the perfect ending to a very hard week. Moms are usually the care givers in the family and when mom goes down, it feels like the whole household is disrupted. My suffering means we all suffer-whether I intend it or not. This week, as much as it was painful, was a precious gift of forcing me to pause, to rest, and to allow myself to be cared for versus me caring for others. My family was all hands on deck, and I didn’t have to ask. Instead of getting frustrated at my lack of abilities, I felt surrounded in love. And then 6 o’clock came and I sat down to a spectacular meal and instead of cleaning the kitchen afterwards, I was sent to bed to rest. This week I was surrounded by people valued my well being over self. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV)