A Jericho Rose
I don’t think I have been shy in sharing that it has been a difficult season at the same time that it has been a season of abundance. It doesn’t seem logical that I can be in both these seasons at the same time, but I am. This past weekend, I was cleaning my desk and picked up an old “Strength and Grace” devotional that mentioned a Jericho rose. This plant, although it may seem dead, comes back to life when it is placed in a little bit of water. In order for it to continue to live and survive, the water source has to be removed at least one day a week. In its dormant state, it can survive for years without water only to come back to life when the water source is provided. Its nickname is the resurrection plant. When I read this, I immediately went on Amazon and ordered it so it would arrive in time for Rob’s birthday celebration. Part of me wondered if it was real-if it would work. When I added water and watched it slowly come back to life, all I could think of is what an amazing symbol of rebirth, of resurrection. What once was dead or lost coming back to life with living water-spiritual rebirth that is found in our Father and the living water He provides. I have looked at this photo countless times today. I needed the reminder that if this plant can come back and be reborn, healing is possible in all of us. We may go through difficult seasons, or dry seasons, but it does not mean that a season of abundance is not coming. It does not mean that we cannot be reborn and thrive again. “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:3-5, NIV)
“Can we skip to the good part?”
The girls and I had an amazing weekend in Colorado. Not only did we get to see a beautiful part of this amazing country, we were able to watch one of the girls’ favorite bands, AJR, performing at Red Rocks. We had an amazing weekend thrifting in the cutest little stores, ate amazing local food, floated down a river, hiked through Red Rocks, and ended the weekend with the high energy concert singing along to all our favorite songs. The girls introduced me to this band and I have come to love their lyrics. I previously blogged about their “100 bad days” song and this week, it is about “The Good Part”. One of the lines in the song is “Can we skip to the good part?” It’s how I feel multiple times throughout the day. I get it, I know it is God’s timing and not mine. I know I am supposed to trust God and I know that my path, my journey is ordained by God and not by me. But sometimes, I just want to skip to the good part. Don’t we all? As I sat there in these special moments this weekend, I realized I have been wanting to skip to the good part, but I was not seeing that I am living the good part right now. I don’t know about you, but when something is off, or not going right in my life, I have a tendency to focus on that one thing. This weekend was a reminder, thanks to these young artists, that I don’t need to skip to the good part, I am living the good part. A dear friend shared a verse that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18, NIV). That’s what He did this weekend. I may be crushed in spirit, but he reminded me that He is close and He is here to save me and is doing it every moment of every single day.
When life gives you lemons…
I think we all know that saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. How about what is meant for evil, God uses for good? Lately, I have had quite a few of those moments. It has me wondering and questioning if I ever had a time or a season that I did not have to constantly adjust my outlook on things. Maybe I naively ran full speed ahead and just ignored the little bumps in the road. Maybe, as I get older, I have just become more aware of these little distractions. This weekend was one of those distractions. We had a plan, and like so many other plans lately, things changed last minute. Truthfully, in the past, I probably would have responded more in anger and frustration, but after being in this season of turmoil and challenges, we simply make the best of what is handed to us. You know what happened? We had an amazing day-it might not have been the exact thing we planned, but it was a perfect day. “But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50:19-21, NIV) So many stories in the Bible have individuals going through a season or seasons of challenges. The story of Joseph is one of my favorite stories of perseverance. It defines how God turns what was meant for evil to good. He was not only betrayed by his own brothers and sold into slavery, he was also falsely imprisoned as the betrayal and lies continue in his life. He is then lifted to a seat of power in Egypt and becomes the one to save the lives of countless, to include the brothers that originally betrayed him.
Which way do I go?
The great thing about seeing God in all things is that you see God in all things. The tough part of seeing God in all things is being able to discern what is of God versus what is my personal hope/influence or when I am reading and seeing what is not truly there or from God. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I felt convicted that I knew where God was leading me. I had a plan and was getting ready to execute it…and then I received an email. That email made me question if I was truly listening to God, truly hearing Him. I went through all the logical steps of evaluating a decision as I have been trained to do for years in the military. I recognized where emotion may be influencing a desired end that is not guaranteed. I recognized the emotional pull for each path and then I said yes to one, my daughter heard the strain in my voice. I told my daughter that the strain in my voice was because I was thinking, I was praying. I could not discern if the email message was received in that moment to guide me in a different direction. I began to doubt where I believed God wanted me to go. And then it happened, I received a text message and in that message all was made clear. A dear newfound friend recently sent me these verses and they have become my go to, “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him. and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV). I knew I was at a crossroads and I didn’t want my decision, my emotional desires to remove my trust in God or veer me off my straight path.
Where do you turn in sorrow, strife, and complaints?
My kids pick on me and a dear friend that even when we try to partake in the consumption of wine, we are epic failures. Today as one of the girls and I were at the grocery store, I asked out loud if I should grab a bottle of wine. Her response was to ask who was coming over, since I am horrible at drinking wine. I took a little joy in that observation, but I will admit, there have been days that I wished I could drown my sorrows and woes in the wine bottle. I eagerly sought for the numbing I see it provide others and found myself disappointed that more oftentimes than not it would lead to sleep, headaches, and a lack of relief of any kind. The fact is, turning to wine will never provide relief. I heard Proverbs 23 today and although I have read it in the past, I had not focused on the beginning. “Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has heedless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?” (Proverbs 23:29, NIV) The fact is, we all do. Each of these questions describes all of us at any point in our lives. We have all felt loss, sorrow, and strife. We have all been bruised, complained and shed more tears than we can count. What God reminds us is that only He can fill that void, only He can fill that loss and emptiness we feel.
Lord help me with patience
I don’t know about you, but I am a fixer, and as a fixer I am not known for my patience. On any given moment, I am fully trusting and declare my readiness for God’s time and in the next moment, I am eager to help God along. Have you ever been in the same place? Patience is defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delays, hardships, or frustrations calmly and without complaint. It illustrates perseverance, self control and the ability to endure the most difficult of times. David reminds us that we must anchor ourselves in God and in doing so, we can overcome anything. “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalms 27: 13-14, NIV). I recognize that I am in a season of refinement and my patience and trust in God will be strengthened on the other side of this.
How do you define Freedom?
I had a dear friend share a Tik Tok with me and these verses have continued to pop back up in my head again and again in the past few days. Recently, I have had conversations about freedom and how do I or anyone else define freedom? Do we run to freedom or do we run away from existence constantly seeking freedom only to never find it? These verses reminded me of where I find my freedom. The freedom of not having to look back, of being defined by all that has passed but knowing that I am defined by what God has called me to become. Constantly moving forward knowing and trusting in what God has planned for me. The emptiness, the lack of freedom becomes filled. Letting go of what is behind me releases me from any constriction I may feel, or any limits I may have in becoming what God has planned for me. “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14, NIV).
Quit ignoring the signs
Today was a sad day. I received difficult news yesterday about an unexpected loss in one of my teams and the ongoing recognition that things are far from where I thought I would be in my personal life in so many areas. I cried a lot, I smiled little, but I continued to stand bold in my faith-in spite of all that is being thrown at me. But this is not a sad post, it is a post of heightened awareness, recognition of signs, and the determination not to ignore them. I shared that this past weekend I took time to be deep in prayer and refocus on studying His word. I have been fasting and remaining focused opening myself to hear Him, hear His truth above all else. The signs have been overwhelming not only in their multitude but in the immediacy of direct answer to prayers. I mean, yay God! In the last two days, I have held my bible in prayer and just fervently asked God to reveal Himself to me. I have begged Him to let me know that I am hearing Him and not being deceived by other influences. Yesterday, as I prayed, I opened my bible and it opened to Isaiah 43. I was reminded that God is with me - “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze…Do not be afraid for I am with you” (Isaiah 43: 2-5, NIV).
Never stop praising and trusting God
I am thankful for the desire to be open and the platform that enables me to share-the good days, and the hard days. This weekend was a time of reflection, reset, and prayer. I can’t wait to share the many affirmations received yesterday as I have been fasting and focused on continuous and intentional prayer. I took time to step away from all else and focus on God, to go to my Bible, to seek God’s guidance and to trust Him in all things. And then, the little things happened-let’s just call them Godwinks! Directly following my blog yesterday where I shared that sometimes I wished I could see God working in my own household, I received a message about an opportunity for Helena to work with a Producer in digital animation-a blessing in my household. I put out an all call to my prayer warriors and the issue that was weighing on me that led to seeking help in that moment was answered with a text 30 minutes later…it is not complete healing, it is not fully done, but it is a start. And then, I am reminded of the blessing that I have in my community-the people who reach out to me and remind me that God does not fail, God does not leave. A dear friend shared that even as David was being pursued by Saul and in the most difficult of times, he said “Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth…My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my Soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches the skies” (Psalms 57 5-10, NIV).
How do I trust God when things are hard?
Today, I sense a kindred spirit in Job. As I read this morning, I was reminded of the dearest gift of my prayer warriors and the recognition of the greatness of God-who am I to question His power or His plans? Job reminds us that not all that happens in life is cause and effect but that there is peace when you trust in God-even in the hardest days. I sit here questioning why things are happening and realizing that I may never know the why. This is not for me to “fix”, no matter how hard the day may seem, I am not standing alone. God still has me-when all else feels taken away, He has never left. Job finally receives blessings twice the level of what he had before. Even after Job had gone through all his troubles, God comes to Him and Job responds “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42: 2, NIV). What a way to glorify God to see the turn in the life of Job. Time and again I remind myself in my prayer that it is not for my earthly needs and desires but for the Glory of God. Who am I to not trust in God in the hard days?