Day 41
I am so excited to be at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference this week spending dedicated time on my writing and listening to God’s direction surrounded by a like minded community. One of the speakers this evening, Edie Melson shared that 40 is a key number in the Bible. 40 is the number of trials, testing, and tribulations. The Israelites wandered for 40 years before they would enter the Promised Land. Moses spent 40 days and nights on Mount Sinai. Jesus, Moses, and Elijah all spent 40 days fasting. In those 40 days Satan tempted Jesus time and again. Day 41 is the day of rebirth, our time of preparation and hardship leads to our renewal, our purification. Jesus, Moses, Elijah, and the Israelites all moved forward to fulfill God’s work and promises on day 41. These words resonated with me along with the song sang in worship, “It is Well With My Soul” written by Horatio Spafford. I have been in the 40 days but this week, I welcome day 41. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1, NIV)
When time stands still…
People who know me recognize that I am busy. Most meetings start with thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule, or appreciation for me giving them minutes in a day filled with more critical minutes spent on more essential tasks. These last few days, I have recognized what those words really mean and I the message today is for all that have said that to me in the past, you know who you are. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV) I have one on ones scheduled with not only my direct reports, but also individuals that either reach out or who’s leaders reach out for me to “mentor” them. These one on ones are the highest priority on my calendar only surpassed by senior leaders placing time on my calendar. I don’t have these engagements because I have to, but because I want to. I had two of these meetings late this week and I have not stopped talking about either engagement. These meetings fill my cup as much as theirs. It gives me a chance to pay it forward, to share my lessons learned and in doing so, to learn myself. So for those individuals, you matter more than those busy schedules, you are my critical tasks.
Healthy Habits-essential to good living
These past few days have reminded me that healthy habits are essential. When I am anxious or feel weighted down by anything, my body is the first to tell me. It usually starts with feeling a bit queasy, then eating less, eventually sleeping less. The signs become visible to those around me, and thankfully, I have dear and honest friends that ask the simple question….when did you eat last? What did you eat? How is your sleeping? Have you ever found yourself in this space? I did. Some of those dear friends interceded without request. One dear couple prayed over me and laid their hands on me reminding me that I need to care for myself-that I cannot be for others without maintaining my physical and mental strength. They reminded me that this is not my burden to carry, that God has already stepped in and I just need to let go. And just as importantly, they reminded me that any load I had to carry, they were there to help.
Unexpected Gifts
Every now and then, you get unexpected gifts. The giver may not even realize the significance or impact of the gift, especially the timing. Recently, I have had a few of those. My day ended with one of those special gifts. My daughters and I attended a wonderful gala in support of Veterans Bridge Home. Since it was a fundraising event, they had several silent auction items. I later found out that my girls were trying to get me a military coin holder since they always see my coins stored in bags throughout the house. Needless to say, it quickly got too rich for their blood, but then they did this thing. They got on Amazon and found me an amazing coin holder-I mean perfect (you can find it here). So, when I came home today after a long day of illness, sick puppies, and high stress, I saw it on the dining table filled with coins that store years of memories. What a special way to end a stressful day…an unexpected gift. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows” (James 1:17, NIV)
A word of thanks, a little recognition
Many times I have shared that it is the little things, the things that you may see as insignificant, that affect people’s lives in ways you cannot imagine. These last two days, I had the opportunity to witness, recognize, and say thanks for a few of those little things. Little things that not only directly impacted me, but so many others. “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness” (Colossians 2:6, NIV). This week, I am overflowing with thankfulness for these amazing people that God has put in my life. People that are selfless and not self serving. People who live faithful lives that in turn enable them to encourage others. People who have built their foundation in our Father, overcoming all the storms thrown at them by trusting God. So today, I want to give a word of thanks, and a little recognition.
Capture that thought
I don’t know if this ever happens to you, but I have some nights where I not only struggle to fall asleep, but I wake up multiple times during the night and find it difficult to go back to sleep. I had one of those nights last night. I played out conversations in my head over and over again, tweaking one thing or another to get my point across-all in my mind. I started spinning on one small potential data point and going down a dark path of what if’s and could be’s. All of this robbing me of much needed sleep and peace. I shared that I pray for God’s guidance and discernment daily, but last night, I felt to my core that God was trying to tell me something. Then the light of day came and I recognize that God would not steal my sleep, God would not give me these dark thoughts nor pull me away from trusting Him and pushing me to “take control”-that’s not God’s direction for me. Even knowing that logically, I still could not get out of my own head. So, I sought prayerful support from my wonderful community of believers…and boy, did they come out strong.
Tell your story
I have had a few encounters in recent months where a meal conversation has turned into a deeper level of sharing than I would have anticipated. I know most people would think I am a very open person because I write this blog or share my testimony, but I would define myself as a very private person. In fact, I would say I even have family members that wish I would share more when I am struggling verses what they may define as “internalizing” while I remain outwardly focused on helping others. On these two occasions, I began to share parts of my story, my testimony. Each time, the stories I shared connected me with the person across from me in a way that was completely unexpected. That was God creating a connection. Jesus reminded us that we “will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8, NIV). God wants us to share our stories. God wants us to create and grow this community of Christ followers.
Darkness turns to Light
I love the way God brings people into your life just when you need it. They often don’t even realize they are the messengers of much needed words. I received one of these notes today. “You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light” (Psalms 18:28, NIV). Not only was it the perfect verse, it was a much needed devotional. It reminded me that although things may not yet look different, that light is about to break forth. It was a reminder that things will come in God’s time and that favor will then come through much more than I ever imagined. My dear friend doesn’t send me daily devotionals-we do check ins every now and then. What are the odds that this exact devotional would have come to her today and that she would think to send it to me? Godwink.
If you remain in me…
I have mentioned that I have been working on intentional prayer. Although I have shared in previous blogs that I am in the midst of a season of abundance, I am, like many of us, in the midst of spiritual battles as well. I don’t think that, as believers, we are ever free from a constant pull to move away from God. The enemy does not want us to draw nearer to God, instead he wants to pepper us with lies and doubts so that we turn away from God and dwell in darkness. Some days are easier than others. Yesterday was not one of my easy days. I recognized an anger below the surface that I could not trace its origins. I felt, well, off. So as I went to bed last night, I ended the day in intentional prayer that my anger be removed and that I would have the scales removed from my eyes and my ears opened to God’s truth and nothing else. Then, I woke up this morning in intentional prayer again. The first affirmation today was a shared memory via text associated with a verse, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (John 15:17, NIV). Then, I heard a song that reminding me to not be afraid and that “This is for my Glory”-I need to “choose to listen and believe.”
An ending and a beginning
It’s not everyday that you have the opportunity to celebrate a life well lived on the same day that you get to celebrate the joining of two lives and a new beginning. This weekend I had the chance to do just that-what a blessing. “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10, NIV) is the verse that resonated with me on both occasions. The devotion and dedication to a life well lived was evident in the morning’s service. A hero, a warrior, father, grandfather, brother, husband, and friend. As I sat there listening to the service he had planned for the last three years, each verse seemed fitting, each memory shared illustrating his humble leadership and sincere care for others above self. A man with high standards but well respected. His impact on those of us that remain was evident by the heartfelt words that expressed the deep sense of loss and grief while remaining joyful and grateful for the time we shared while he was on this earth.