The Lord will be with you wherever you go
I have served in the military for over 30 years. Throughout those years, I have traveled the world, experienced more than I ever expected, and worked with amazing people that have resulted in lifelong friendships. In all that time, I have been part of deployment ceremonies as a soldier and a spouse. I have attended countless deployment ceremonies and, regardless of the size of the unit or the mission of the deployment, each one brings me back to each of those ceremonies that I participated in as a soldier and a spouse. My husband’s first deployment after 9/11 occurred in 2003. I can still recall sitting in those stands numb to the hundreds of people in attendance. The only thought that continued to race through my mind was “what if”. What if he didn’t make it home? What if this was not just a see you soon hug, but a final goodbye? I pasted the smile on my face and told him everything would be ok back home and that I was proud of him when deep inside my heart raced in fear of what tomorrow would bring. I watched every bit of news while he was gone and counted every minute of the day until his return.
Our next mobilization occurred in 2004 when he and I were both part of a unit deploying to Iraq. We had to shut down our lives, sit down with our mothers and let them know if we did not come back that they should take comfort in knowing we were doing what we believed in and had no regrets. (I can’t imagine hearing those words from my own children) In this ceremony, we stood next to each other, Rob with more knowledge of what we were going to face, me with the anticipation and ready to get our mission started. I did not sit in fear of what might happen but stood focused and intent on our mission. I witnessed war firsthand and no longer felt the fear of the unknown, but lived the experience in real time of the fragility of life when you are attacked day in and out with no end in sight. I felt how quickly life can slip away when Rob’s convoy was hit and I didn’t know if he was alive or dead (that is a story for another day).
Rob’s next mobilization occurred in 2009. We had just found out we were pregnant with twin girls. As I sat in that ceremony, I naively convinced myself that this would be like all the others. He would come home and he would not be at risk-after all, he had to come home and be a dad to our twin girls. I didn’t sit in fear and worry of the “what ifs”, I sat in denial of any possibility that he would not make it home…after all, he’d made it home before. I didn’t watch any news while he was gone. He thankfully made it home for the birth of the girls and quickly returned to Afghanistan. Shortly after his return to Afghanistan, his convoy was hit and I again was reminded how quickly life can slip away.
I wish I can tell you that through all these deployments I felt God by my side, but that didn’t come until much later. I believed in God, and I was prayerful the times that Rob’s convoys were hit, but I did not feel God by my side. He was this omnipotent being that was far removed from my life. In today’s ceremony, the Chaplain closed the ceremony in prayer reminding us to “not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV). Those words brought me right back to each of those ceremonies, where I sat in the audience, fearful of the what ifs. It brought me back when I sat in the seats with my fellow soldiers, focused on the mission and naive of the dangers. It brought me back to that final deployment when I sat in denial of the risk. It reminded me how thankful I am to no longer see God as a removed all powerful being, but to see Him as my Father, who is with me everyday and every step of my life. As I sat in the today’s ceremony, and the many others that I have had the honor of attending, I looked across each of these soldiers knowing each one of them, along with their families, likely were feeling some of the same emotions I felt on each of those days. Today, and everyday, I said a prayer that each of them come find the peace that only God can provide. I prayed that they not only heard the Chaplain’s words, but believed that God is with them, wherever they go.
Today, I pray that each of you pause and say a prayer for each of these soldiers and their families. I pray that you take a moment to pray for those that are fearful or naive of the unknown. I pray that you look at your surrounding and be thankful for the comfort and peace you have in your home at the same time that you pray for peace for each of their families as their lives are turned upside down.
