Nothing like a first birthday
This week we received news of the loss of a dear friend’s father and celebrated the one year birthday of our precious little granddaughter Lena. I kept thinking about Ecclesiastes 3, “There is a time for everything…a time to be born and a time to die…a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, NIV). Ecclesiastes highlights that the roller coaster of life happens to all of us. You can live the most perfect life and still undergo hardships. You can live a life of sin and still be loved. Life happens to everyone. There is birth and there is death, there is joy and there is sorrow. In living, you cannot control what you will encounter or when you will encounter it. It is for us to live in it and continue to trust in God and pursue Him in our everlasting peace. This week, I mourned with my dear friend while I reminded him of the gift of sharing a life well lived and being able to share in lasting memories that will never fade. This week, our family celebrated the precious miracle of a life beginning as we watched the pure joy cross little Lena’s face as all eyes were on her to celebrate her special day, hear her laughter, and watch her run from one gift to another overjoyed with the outpouring of love. Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything, and that not one thing will ever consume all of our time. A time of mourning will pass, a time to dance may be followed by sadness. What a great gift we have in living and in experiencing all that life has to offer.
If I knew then what I know now
I have said these words too many times lately. I am on day three of significant back pain where I catch my breath with the slightest movement. This pain is well earned after countless years of running and endless miles with a 40lb ruck. When I was younger, I didn’t think about the long term effects of my decisions. I didn’t think that what I found as a rhythmic calming cadence of one foot falling after another would lead to compression in my spine, knee injuries, and long nights waking up in pain. Welcome to getting older! I had a dinner scheduled for tonight and was determined to continue with it even if it was difficult to move. Through the years I have learned to “fake it to make it” and this might be one of those nights. The girls had their “tribe” over that they have known since toddlers. It was wonderful to hear the house filled with laughter like so many days in the past. I sat with dear friends and we talked about my injury and I shared my regret of some of my life choices that led to pain today. Neither of them hesitated when they reminded me that at least I lived. That set me back and completely changed my perspective. Solomon reminds us that “with wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief” (Ecclesiastes 1:18, NIV). If I knew then what I know now would I have lived fully? Probably not.
Fear, It’s a real thing
1:00 am wake up, quickly followed by a 2:24 am wake up, a 4:42 am wake up and finally a 7:00 am wake up. Maybe you are able to sleep through the night before big days-not me. It usually begins with me dream scrolling all the things that were on my checklist and marking them off on my mental notepad. Once complete, I am able to sleep again for a little bit. Then I wake up again knowing that even though I checked everything off and did all that I needed to do, something is bound to go wrong or I must have missed something. The next wake up has usually expanded to everything else in my life and gone well beyond the one thing I had planned for that day and it all begins to spiral into an endless funnel of worry. Final wake up? It’s the sun rising reminding me that the day is inevitable and can’t be avoided. The crazy thing about last night is that today wasn’t a day to fear or be worried. It is a day of celebration and excitement but somehow, in my mind, I dwelled in all that could go wrong instead of the celebration and excitement side of things. Have you ever done that?