What advice would you give your 19 year old self?
What advice would you give your 19 year old self? That’s the question a young woman that I consider family asked me. I surprised myself when without hesitation I responded with “dream big.” The irony is when I was in her shoes, I was not focused on dreaming. I had plans, big plans. I knew that I wanted to go far away for college and I knew that I wanted to prove myself and succeed. I had always been fascinated with the military and I knew it would give me an escape that not many other opportunities would provide. My dream? I always wanted to write, in fact, I did write. My one act play was picked up by Nancy Reagan’s Just Say No program, I wrote short stories and poetry and writing was my safe space. But writing would not be a career, it was a hobby, a side gig. So, I pursued other things. Things that would lead to a good job and where I would fall in line where people expected.
I don’t spend a lot of time looking in the rearview mirror, it’s a habit I have worked hard to break. I don’t think I would have been the writer I am today if I chased this dream sooner, but who knows? I do know it saddens me that although I didn’t pursue writing, I stopped. One day, I just stopped writing. I left my safe space and then the world continued to revolve around me feeling more and more constricting and freedom to dream becoming a memory. Then, one day, my husband asked me what I wanted to do for myself. As I scrolled through all the ideas in my head, I could not come up with one idea that wasn’t for my kids, my husband, or my family. He asked the question that would bring me back to dreaming. He asked me “Why don’t you start writing again?” So, I did. I found my safe space again and I hope, maybe some of you find a safe space in there too.
I don’t want my girls to be limited by the no they may hear, or the assumption that they will not be good enough. I want them to believe in themselves with no limits. I want them to trust God to hold them if or when they fall. I want them to dream big and go all in. Regardless of where they land, their dad and I, along with their Heavenly Father, will always be here. Can you imagine what could happen if they just went all in and dreamt big? Imagine the lives that Hope’s dancing and music will touch. I know I have a mom heart, but I have lost count of the tears she has brought to my eyes watching her express music in ways I did not imagine possible. Imagine seeing Helena’s art across a screen or in books as she creates characters and worlds from the tiniest seed and brings a place to life that we can all lose ourselves?
So, to my dear friend, I say I would tell myself dream big-without limits. Believe in yourself, even when it feels like others do not. Go all in and use your God gifts as he intended, not as the world limits you. I would remind her to “commit to the Lord whatever [she does], and he will establish [her] plans” (Proverbs 16:3, NIV). When you find yourself doubting, call me, and I will remind you to dream even bigger!
Today, I pray that each of you, just for a minute, look back in that mirror to your 19 year old self and remember that dream. It's pray that you take time to pray, and listen to God’s direction and if he says go-dream big. It’s not too late, God has you. I can’t wait to see where He leads me!
