How do we remember those we have lost
Death has been top of mind the last few days. I have gone from sending prayers of comfort for the loss of a loved one to sharing news of the loss of a fellow warrior and hearing of the imminent loss of a loving father. All lived long, experienced much, and impacted countless lives. Their stories remain. “Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them” (Revelation 14:13, NIV). They no longer suffer, they are no longer in pain, their deeds are not only seen by God, but they are remembered by those of us who remain on this earth. They have earned their rest in living in the Lord.
There are no words
Loss is tragic, regardless of the age of the one we lose. It feels even more tragic when it is a life cut short in their prime or the loss of one so young that they have just begun to live. God reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV) Crushed in spirit, I think that is an apt description for the pain caused by the tragic loss of a loved one. What words of comfort could I possibly provide? I could share the beatitudes and remind them that “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” (Matthew 5:4, NIV) but those words ring hollow in the depth of this pain, it’s too soon. So, instead, I remind them they are not alone, although it may feel very lonely. I remind them of the precious time shared on this earth, and I pray that God speak to them in a way I cannot. I pray that they find a sense of peace where it seems impossible. I pray that they find a way to remember the precious memories instead of dwelling on the moments that will never be shared. I pray they find a way to wake up tomorrow, and the next day, and find a way to live and maybe one day smile again. But not today. Today, I pray they allow themselves to grieve. I pray they not run or avoid their pain, but walk through it knowing that God is with them and will be there on the other side. I pray that as they fall to their knees in sorrow, they know that I am on my knees praying for comfort.