If I knew then what I know now

I have said these words too many times lately. I am on day three of significant back pain where I catch my breath with the slightest movement. This pain is well earned after countless years of running and endless miles with a 40lb ruck. When I was younger, I didn’t think about the long term effects of my decisions. I didn’t think that what I found as a rhythmic calming cadence of one foot falling after another would lead to compression in my spine, knee injuries, and long nights waking up in pain. Welcome to getting older! I had a dinner scheduled for tonight and was determined to continue with it even if it was difficult to move. Through the years I have learned to “fake it to make it” and this might be one of those nights. The girls had their “tribe” over that they have known since toddlers. It was wonderful to hear the house filled with laughter like so many days in the past. I sat with dear friends and we talked about my injury and I shared my regret of some of my life choices that led to pain today. Neither of them hesitated when they reminded me that at least I lived. That set me back and completely changed my perspective. Solomon reminds us that “with wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief” (Ecclesiastes 1:18, NIV). If I knew then what I know now would I have lived fully? Probably not.