Set aside that task list

Death is a shocking reality and something we will all encounter. I can hear all the words of encouragement and prayers after a tragic loss and in the moment, I recall those words sounding hollow as I felt numb while I focused on the simple task of remembering to breathe in and out, in and out. Today, I learned of a dear friend losing a parent and I found myself sharing the same words.

I shared with someone yesterday that it is in these moments that I felt my relationship changing with God. I went from a woman of faith to having full and complete trust in God. Sometimes you have to go through something to understand the depths of the peace that having God in our lives provides. These scars that we bear are not only reminders of the tragedies we survive, they are our testimonies to who He is in our lives.

I’ve also learned to value every moment. To be intentional and present in the things that I may have taken for granted in the past. Every hug and kiss, every “mommy, mommy” heard over and over again as my girls demand one thing or another-each moment more precious than the last. These are the things that matter.

There was a time in my life when I fretted over task lists and due dates. I would be consumed by emails that needed to be sent and would run through all these lists in my mind during the day and while I slept. Life was chaotic and my mind was even more chaotic. These moments I mentioned before would often be pushed aside for what I felt was a more critical event, a project that needed to be completed or one of the countless items on my task list that never seemed to reach an end. Then something changed, my husband went on the Appalachian Trail for six months. I no longer had the flexibility to set aside those moments for critical events. I had to find a way to do it all, and that my dear friend, is impossible.

Rob’s trip on the trail was supposed to be for him after tragically losing his mom and best friend, it ended up being an awakening for me. It changed my relationship with my girls at a critical time for them and me. It helped me to see that each of those little moments that I have been taking for granted mean more than anything else. It helped me to value life-not the accolades or rewards from project completion, but the special feeling you get when one of your children stays up waiting for you because they could not wait to tell you about their day and hear about yours. Those are the moments that matter.

There is no life without death, but in order to live, to truly live, we need to be present and focus on the things that matter most. Do not wait until time runs out to look back with regret-live your life without regret.

Today, I pray that you put away that list of things to do. Go for a walk, have a family dinner, have intentional conversations about your day, and as my mother in law never failed to do, say good night, I love you, and sweetest of dreams.