Presence not perfection
What a day! I had an amazing experience attending She Speaks Conference in Charlotte, NC today. When I sat on the front porch tonight to summarize the day with Rob, I was at a loss of words. The experience has left me deep in thought, in awe of the women I had the chance to meet, and feeling overwhelmingly blessed that I walked through those doors.
I didn’t come here for me…I have a dear friend at work that has a story to tell and I knew She Speaks was around the corner. I encouraged her to attend and said she would not be alone, I would attend with her, for her. Not once did I think I would be attending She Speaks for me. From that commitment, my text group expanded, by blog was launched, and here we are. I know God brought me here because I needed to be here.
One of our speakers, Jennifer Dukes Lee (you need to check her out) said something that resonated with me- “the people we are called to serve aren’t looking for perfection, they’re looking for presence.” My entire life has been defined by seeking perfection. It was never an option not be the best. I was expected to not only succeed but to excel. Looking back, I know that pressure was not always external and that it became all that I knew. It led to great success as a mom, a wife, a soldier, and as a leader in my civilian job, but it has also led to impossible expectations and an external image that no longer looks like me. When Jennifer spoke these words, I felt a sigh of relief escape my lips. Present I can do, perfection is never achieved.
Our Heavenly Father created each of us and we are called to serve for His purpose, not for my glory, not for titles, not for the seeking of perfection. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, who are we to doubt or seek to change what God has planned for us. In seeking perfection we lose the ability to be present for those we are called to serve. I am sure each of you have seen that person on social media or that famous person that seems to have everything put together-their lives seem perfect. They also seem so far removed from anything that is relevant in my life. I cannot relate to their experiences or to what is shown on the surface of their lives. I have been that person. I was the one that had the perfect picture on the outside and hid the journey, I hid the pain suffered to get to those wins. Today, I received affirmation that I am called to be present-not perfect.
Today, I pray each of you open yourself to being called to serve. I pray that you allow yourself to be present, that you see how God uses the least of us to do the most amazing things. Today, I pray that you look back on the day and remember when you were present for someone and see that for the win that it is-it is not, nor ever has been about perfection.
