Community and Connection

As I started this blog, I made the commitment to write as I feel inspired or moved to share a message. It has amazed me that everyday since its launch I have felt moved to write. That in itself feels like affirmation that I am on the path intended for me. I have been in awe of the feedback received and comments from many of you that share that this blog has now become part of your daily devotional-I am humbled and honored that you welcome me into your home and spiritual study.

Today, I had multiple encounters that also reminded me of previous moments in the military. It is also something Rob and I talk about with the girls on a regular basis. One of the things I noticed as cell phones and social media became a central part of our lives is that although we may be very “connected” we have lost touch with each other and our community. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is phenomenal that this blog can reach so many more than my physical inner circle-I am not stating social media and technology are bad, I am just saying we cannot limit all our connections to just these options.

I remember an annual training from years ago when I was a Battalion Commander leading several hundred soldiers. Annual training is where we go out in the field and train for two weeks on weapons, driving, and overall soldier functions at multiple levels of the organization from individual to team. We were enjoying a day where we took a break from all those tasks and planned a day to spend time together eating and playing outdoor games. As I walked around, people were sitting next to each other, but everyone was on their individual phones. I asked everyone to put their phones away and take the time to get to know the person to the left and right of them. Have a conversation, learn who they are both in and out of uniform. I shared that it is impossible to sense when something is wrong or off with someone when we don’t even know what their norm looks like. We don’t find out each others norms if we don’t engage…personally, not via text.

Another time is when I had a soldier walking down our hallway that I had never seen before. I sensed she was not having a good day and called her into my office. She was visiting from another unit and had gone through a recent unexpected loss of her husband and was raising two children in an unknown environment since her family had recently moved there away from her community and all she had known. That one hey you in the hallway has led to a connection where I have had the joy of seeing her children grow, celebrated special occasions, and she traveled with Rob and I to Israel. All from engaging when something just did not seem right.

Today, I had two of those experiences. Many who know me would be shocked that I voluntarily hug anyone…but today was a day for hugging. I ran into one of my co-workers and sensed something was not quite right and simply asked if I could give her a hug. I didn’t have to know the issue, I didn’t have to offer solution, I simply let her know that she was not alone and that I was there with a simple human touch- a connection. Later today, I had a similar encounter. Same thing- I just gave them a hug and hoped to provide a bit of comfort.

I recall during COVID that I had an employee who seemed to be struggling in our teams online meetings. I decided to drop off a “care package” at his home and he shared that he missed human touch. Since he lived alone and we were in quarantine, he had not had human touch in 3 months. It was something I took for granted with my family becoming closer due to the quarantines because it removed all distractions and forced connection. As I drove home that day, I understood that depth of loss, of feeling truly alone even though we continued to “connect” through our technology.

The only way we can sense when something may be outside the norm, or others can see the same in us, is when we have the courage to be open to these connections. This, in turn, creates a community that looks out for each other…and maybe gives out a hug or two when you may not even realize you need it.

I mentioned our girls and technology -our rule is no technology at the table when we sit down to eat and when we travel in the car together on short trips (to and from school, etc). Every weekly family dinner we share our two roses and a thorn for the week (what went well and what was not the best- even guests have to participate!). In the car, we have shared some of the best conversations on those short trips…conversations we would have missed if we were all buried in our phones.

I love 1 John 4 verses 7:21. I encourage you to read all of it but I wanted to leave this with you…”Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us” (1 John 4:10-11) I pray that today you share something about you and make a connection with someone -go build your community of faith followers -go look out for each other.